Self-confidence is defined as “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment” and is inevitable for substantial personal growth and success.
There’s hardly a person who succeeded in anything without trusting in himself.
Just ask yourself the following question:
Why would others believe in you if you don’t do so?
There’s a beautiful saying — Faith can move mountains.
Especially believing in yourself and your capabilities can move massive mountains and make the impossible possible.
A powerful mindset is what unites many successful people and high-performers. Without believing in yourself, you won’t be able to develop mental strength and strong stamina. If you keep doubting yourself, you’ll have a hard time getting to the finish line.
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu
Confidence is so much more than believing in yourself. It means that you know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, your preferences, and priorities. First of all, being confident means that you know yourself. And that’s an essential part of your relationship with yourself. Without being confident in who you are and what you do, you won’t be able to love and appreciate yourself properly.
That’s why so many people struggle with all these topics. Most people don’t spend time discovering themselves. They avoid being alone and spending time with the most critical person in their lives: themselves.
Somehow, we often confuse being alone and being lonely.
I’ve talked to so many people about this topic, and the most answers I received were pretty similar: Most people feel awkward when they spend time alone. They wouldn’t go for a walk or out for dinner without another person by their side.
That’s a real struggle because continually surrounding ourselves with others can be pretty dangerous if we do it to run away from ourselves.
Being confident means being able to distance yourself from problems and obstacles. If you, for instance, make a mistake, you need to know that you are not the mistake, neither is the mistake part of you. You are so much more. And you need to have an objective look at your faults to solve them correctly. Being part of the problem hardly leads to solutions.
Confident people have much more control over their emotions and feelings. They don’t get controlled by external events but stay calm on the inside, even if bad things happen. What others say or think about them is not their business. Instead, they focus on their achievements and strengths.
Other than that, we find confident people more sympathetic than insecure ones.
I mean, would you like to spend time with someone who is hesitant and unsure or with a person who seems strong and full of energy?
Most people prefer the latter.
The good news is that only you can build or destroy your confidence. Working on your self-belief is a marathon, it might take some time and come with obstacles, but if you keep going, you’ll undoubtedly succeed in becoming a mentally strong person.
One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
— Arthur Ashe
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Improve yourself
The greatest thing about building confidence is that it’s entirely up to you.
Real confidence is inside yourself and has nothing to do with the outside world. Once you truly trust yourself, external factors can hardly break you.
Improving yourself, growing as a person, and developing new skills are the greatest ways of increasing your self-confidence.
If we know that we are great at something, we are confident about it.
Imagine an exam to which you know all the answers. Would you feel excited before? Probably not. You’d even be full of joy because doing things that we’re good at is fun.
Developing a vast stock of knowledge is fundamental for believing in yourself.
Of course, we can’t be good at everything. But that’s not necessary. We just need to be great at the things that matter. Instead of getting a glimpse of everything, focus on the skills and the knowledge that brings you closer to your goals.
How to do it:
Know what you want. Have clear objectives and the desired vision of your life in mind. Then, figure out what holds you back from achieving your dreams. Which are the skills that are still lacking? And how can you acquire them?
Find ways of developing these particular skills and learning about your field of expertise.
The more you invest in improving yourself in a particular area, the higher your results will be.
And once you see your results, you will start trusting yourself and your confidence will rise.
Be kind to yourself
Would you ever tell a friend that she is terrible at something or that she’s a loser? Probably not.
Yet, we often discourage ourselves.
For most people, negative self-talk is a daily reality. While we try to empower our loved ones, we tend to belittle ourselves.
How stupid, right?
Criticizing ourselves is a common mistake that most of us make. Once things get tough, we start coping with negative self-talk and doubt ourselves. What we should instead do is being our own best friend. Or even our biggest fan.
You are the person with whom you have to spend the biggest time in your entire life. It’s fine if you get along with your partner, kids, or friends nicely, yet, if you can’t deal with yourself, you will sooner or later face deep struggles.
Especially if you are dreaming big and aiming to achieve meaningful goals, you need to have a strong, lovely relationship with yourself. No matter how successful you are, there will always be people who’ll doubt you, but you need to keep believing in yourself.
Instead of focusing on your weaknesses and faults, highlight your strengths.
Practice self-reflection and empower yourself every day. You are the only one who knows what motivates you to perform at your best, so create an environment that empowers you to give your best.
Focus on your achievements and on everything that you want to create in your life, create routines that increase your energy and happiness.
How to do it:
For me, a morning routine is the most powerful tool to practice positive self-talk and empower myself. First, I journal. I write down all my thoughts, positive and negative. By doing so, I realize how I truly feel, and if there is anything that is currently bothering me deep within myself. Then, I meditate, followed by powerful affirmations. Sometimes, I even have a look at my vision board. By doing so, I remember what my life goals are and why I even started everything.
Be aware of your achievements
We are conditioned to focus on mistakes and faults. Starting at school, we get taught we need to focus on the subjects and topics that we are bad at.
That’s why we often struggle to celebrate our achievements and be proud of ourselves. Yet, that’s a critical part of building self-confidence.
Strengthening your strengths is so much more powerful (and also easier) than dealing with your weaknesses.
Of course, we also need to reflect on things that went wrong. We should try to figure out what we could’ve done better, yet, we should also dedicate the same amount of time to realizing how awesome we are.
Making mistakes is normal, but spending too much time worrying about what we did wrong is not necessary. Instead, focus on your successes and give your best to produce more of them.
How to do it:
Keeping a success journal was a major gamechanger for me.
At the end of most days, we don’t think about what we’ve accomplished. We instead see an uncompleted to-do list and feel bad about what we’ve not finished yet. Turning this around and writing down everything that you actually get done is an excellent boost for your motivation and confidence.
By writing down your achievements, you will realize that you get much more done than you feel like, this in return, will boost your confidence.
Have a vision of your best self
When I feel down or lack energy, I ask myself what the best version of myself would do.
Having a clear picture of your best version is a great way to motivate yourself and strengthen your self-confidence.
And yes, you can love yourself just the way you are right now and still work for an even better version of yourself in the future.
Once you create a vision that is genuinely appealing to yourself, you’ll want to give your best to get there.
Being confident doesn’t come by being flawless, it’s a state of mind, no matter if you temporarily win or lose. If you have a clear picture of who you want to become and how to get there, you will feel much more confident in your actions.
Stop comparing yourself to others and instead focus on becoming the very best version of yourself. You’ll soon realize how shifting your perspective will lead to more confidence as you won’t have to analyze what others do anymore.
How to do it:
Schedule an appointment with yourself. Take as much time as you need to create a vision that is not only appealing but highly motivating.
Think about the different areas of your life: health, finances, relationships, spirituality… Who do you want to be in each of these areas?
What kind of person do you want to become? Who are your idols?
Ask yourself these questions until you have a complete image of your future vision. Don’t only hold that idea in your mind but write it down. Or create a vision board full of pictures of your best version.
Move your body
Even if you don’t aim to succeed in sports, moving your body might help you strengthen your self-belief.
The whole fitness world is growing like crazy, and the reason is not that people are more interested in sports than before. It’s because doing sports makes us feel good and proud.
During most sports activities, we experience little moments of success, which boosts our confidence. Even if you are exercising at the gym, all alone by yourself, every exercise might give you a sense of accomplishment.
Other than that, we are confident when we feel good in our skin. Thus, regular exercise helps to increase your self-worth.
Another advantage is that regular exercise can help to improve your posture, which is also crucial for feeling strong and confident.
How to do it:
When planning your week, actively schedule your sports sessions. You don’t have to hit the gym for 60 minutes every day. Instead, focus on making it a habit, no matter how small you start.
Even a 10 minute home workout is a fantastic beginning. Just make sure to somehow move and strengthen your body.
You will soon realize how much better you feel physically. This, in return, will boost your confidence